


Patching Up Superidiots

by FireflysLove



Category: Daredevil (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Blood, Claire has to fix everyone, Gen, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 17:02:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5341727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireflysLove/pseuds/FireflysLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Claire needs a day off from these damn superheros showing up on her fire escape.</p>
<p>Jessica needs a new lawyer.</p>
<p>Matt just needs to stop getting beat up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Patching Up Superidiots

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this gifset](http://superjessicajones.tumblr.com/post/133962134607).

It’s one of Claire’s rare days off. Unfortunately, it’s raining, but there’s nothing wrong with a day in bed with Netflix and a cup of tea. She’s halfway through the second episode of a _Farscape_ marathon when there’s a tapping at her living room window that’s definitely not rain. She sighs, rolls out of bed, and goes to her closet to get her medical kit before going to open the window.

A very sad looking Matt Murdock waits outside, holding his wrist while blood runs freely out of his nose to mix with the rivulets of rain on his face.

“Do I even want to ask what happened to you?” she asks after opening the window.

“The usual,” he answers, climbing in. “Some thugs decided to try to rob a woman walking down the street, and, well… I don’t even know why they picked her. She wasn’t a particularly promising mark. Jeans, leather jacket, no purse.”

“Some people are idiots, Matt,” Claire says. She hands him a towel from the stash she’s declared the ‘patching up superidiots’ closet. “Pinch the bridge of your nose with your good hand. What did you do to your wrist?”

“Can you help me pull the helmet off?” he asks. “It got kicked against the curb. By the victim of the robbery, no less.”

She extracts his face from the helmet, and drops it into a bucket, the less blood on the floor the better.

“Must’ve been quite the kick to break through the armor. I thought it was supposed to be strong there,” Claire says, pulling off the gauntlet.

“It is,” Matt says. “But the curb was hard.”

“Well,” Claire says, after palpitating his arm, “I don’t think it’s broken. But you should ice it until the swelling goes down, and try not to punch anyone with it for a few weeks.”

“I’ll try my hardest,” he says.

“Now, let’s look at that nose,” she says.

She’s starting to peel away the towel when there’s a thump from behind her. She turns to look, and Jessica Jones has climbed in through her open window, holding her ribs and looking slightly less pathetic than Matt had ten minutes earlier.

“I got kicked,” she says by way of explanation.

“Have a seat,” Claire says, gesturing to her raggedy armchair. “I need to take care of this first.”

She turns, and Jessica sees the man sitting on the couch behind her. “What the hell?”

“I could say the same to you,” he replies.

“You were trying to mug me,” she says.

“I was trying to stop you from being mugged!” he says forcefully. Unfortunately, it’s a bit muffled from the broken nose.

“Do you often try to fight three men at once?” Jessica asks sarcastically.

“Yes,” Matt replies.

“It’s something of a hobby,” Claire comments.

“It is not,” Matt says.

“Wait,” Jessica says. “The deal with Fisk, that was you, wasn’t it?”

“And if it was?” Matt asks testily.

“Damn good job,” Jessica says. “I’m not into the whole ‘save the city save yourself’ deal, but that guy was a real asshole.”

Matt laughs weakly. “Tell me about it.”

“So you’re… gifted?” Jessica asks.

“That’s what they’re calling it now?” Matt asks. “But yes, I suppose.”

“Hell’s Kitchen is a fucking magnet, I swear,” Jessica says.

“What happened to you?” Matt asks.

“Stand up, and take your shirt off,” Claire says to Jessica. At her moment of hesitation, she says, “He’s blind, and too polite to look anyway.”

“I don’t know,” Jessica says, “and I don’t really care. But I can put grown men through walls and leap tall buildings in a single bound, so I’m okay with what I got out of the deal. You?”

“Chemical spill when I was nine,” he says. “I went blind, but it didn’t stick. Not really, anyway.”

“There’s not much I can do for ribs,” Claire says, running her hand through her hair. “Try not to bend too much, sleep on your other side, and don’t get kicked again. They’ll heal on their own, and the last time you seemed to heal up just fine. You can put your shirt back on.”

“I have to go,” Matt says. “As ever, thank you, Claire.”

“Come back any time,” she says.

 

* * *

 

It’s less than a week later that Jessica finds herself in need of a lawyer. She’d nearly forgotten about the guys she and Luke had beaten up in his bar before all the shit with Kilgrave had gone down. One of them had decided to press charges and sue her.

“Why?” Trish asks when Jessica shows up on her balcony with a bottle of cheap whiskey and a package of unpopped-popcorn.

“As far as I can tell, he’s hard up for cash, and thinks I’m a good source,” Jessica says.

“Well that’s stupid. Have they seen your office?” Trish says.

“That’s what I said, but this is America. You can sue anyone,” Jessica says.

“You’re going to need a good defense lawyer,” Trish says, popping popcorn in her mouth as she flops down on the couch next to Jessica with a bowl the size of Jessica’s kitchen table.

“Know any good ones? My last lawyer turned out to be a gigantic bag of lesbian-friendly dicks,” Jessica says, taking a handful of popcorn.

“Hold this,” Trish says. “I think I have a card around here somewhere. I interviewed these guys last summer when they helped take down Wilson Fisk.”

Trish finds the card in a purse in the back of her closet.

Nelson and Murdock. The name sounds familiar, but she can’t quite place it.

“Thanks Trish,” she says. “But maybe I should just have you scare the guy off with your crazy Krav Maga skills.”

“I could give him a nice shiner,” Trish says. “But that would just make him want to sue me, and I actually have money.”

“Plus it would be bad publicity,” Jessica says.

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Trish says. “Everyone’s a sucker for a badass.”

 

* * *

 

She calls them the next morning and makes an appointment for later that day.

The place looks a lot like her apartment, shitty. The perky receptionist, Karen, tells her to take a seat, that Mr. Nelson and Mr. Murdock will be with her in just a few minutes.

Sure enough, a man with longish dirty blond hair who introduces himself as Foggy Nelson comes out of his office a few moments later and invites her in.

“My partner will be will be with us in just a bit,” he says. “What’s your problem?”

“I helped a friend beat a few guys up in his bar a few months ago, and now one of them is suing me,” she says.

“Was the attack provoked?” Foggy asks.

“Well I might have told one of the guys’ wives that he hired me to prove she was cheating on him with my friend who owns the bar…” Jessica says.

“Hired?”

“I’m a PI,” Jessica says. “Alias Investigations.” She slides a card across the table.

“And was she? Cheating on him with your friend?” Foggy asks, putting the card under a pile of folders.

“Oh, yeah,” Jessica says. “But he didn’t hire me.”

“So the husband and his buddies show up to your friend’s bar,” Foggy starts.

“And they start beating him up, so I jump in to help, and we get them to go off,” Jessica says.

“It seems like a simple case of defense of others,” Foggy says.

“Sorry I’m late, I had a phone call,” a man’s voice, presumably Foggy’s partner, says.

“Jessica Jones, this is my partner Matt Murdock,” Foggy says.

Jessica stands to offer her hand, and freezes.

“Well shit,” she says.

“I can agree with that,” Matt says.

“You two know each other?” Foggy asks.

“Remember how last week I said Daredevil met someone in Claire’s apartment?” Matt asks. “Someone else with abilities?”

“That’s you?” Foggy asks.

“That’s me,” Jessica says. “I might not have mentioned that I hit the guy with a payphone.”

“We’ll take the case,” Matt says.

 

* * *

 

The case goes away in one day of trial, since it’s clear that Jessica was defending Luke.

It becomes headline news when Daredevil suddenly gains a crimefighting partner. No one knows what to call her, but they never get a good look at her face.

 

* * *

 

Claire’s next full day off is seven weeks later. She gets through four episodes of _Cutthroat Kitchen_ before there’s a knock at her window.

“What the hell happened to you this time?” she asks, throwing it open.

“He got himself thrown off a building,” Jessica says. “And I caught him, but… I think I probably should’ve just let him hit the ground.”

Sure enough, there’s two bands of black bruises across Matt’s back.

“You two have the strangest hobbies,” Claire says.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on my (very Stucky) [Tumblr](http://fireflyslove.tumblr.com)!


End file.
